Saturday, September 29, 2007

Safe Travels.

Funky building.

View to the north.

Government building.

View to the South, Presidental Palace in the distance.

Under construction.

Tallest building in town.

The Mosque.

Government building.

View to the east.
Friday morning we flew from Petro to the new capital of Kazakhstan, Astana. Because the capital has been recently relocated the President of the country has allocated serious money to get things up to snuff. It looks more like Las Vegas than Kazakhstan. It was real shocker to see all the new buildings, lights, and hustle and bustle. We hired a driver for a couple of hours to show us around and get some photos. The Baiterek, the tower in the center of town, and made a wish at the highest point, it's a local custom. Aftewards we spent the evening with a couple from California doing Humanitarian work. Great company and mexican food, can't beat that.
The Baiterek.
Making a wish.

Saturday morning came early as the wake up call rang promptly at 4 am. We had a flight that left at 7 am for Vienna and considering our last close call in Astana, we weren't taking any chances with missing this time. By 1:30 pm Kazak time, Vienna was a reality and after a couple hour layover we were Chicago bound. Now I'm not really a fan on sitting on a plane for 10 hours but Austrian Air was the best carrier I've ever flown. Food was great and I caught up on some movies. And all in all, it wasn't too bad. The last 30 minutes were tough on the kids as the lack of sleep started to take its toll. Janse fell victim and crashed 10 minutes before we landed and Denver tried as we taxied in. I refused to have 2 dead Indians so I prodded him, forcing him to tell me jokes and stories until we unloaded.

Once in Chicago food was in order. The mind willing but the flesh was weak and besides myself it mostly went to waste. Our three hour layover turned into four as our plane had some issues. When we finally boarded everyone was together in the front row, except me. I was all the way in the back. Which, turned out nice as we moved a few people around and I got some breathing room. Debbie wasn't as fortunate. She had been seated in front of the "loud talker", and despite me and the boys getting some shut eye, she had a very long, noisy, bumpy, 3 1/2 hour flight.

Shortly before landing I sat up and looked out the window. We were high above the cloud layer. It was dark and for the first time in a month I realized I hadn't seen the stars. Suddenly, the plane banked hard left over Brigham City and right in front of my eyes was the Big Dipper in all it's glory. I couldn't help but make a wish, a wish for ALL the children we had loved, and left, that the watchful eye of the God of Heaven might be upon them.

There is a time a place for everything. Indeed, it was hard to leave, but it feels good to be home. Thanks to all for your support and love.

guy

Final day at the Boarding School.



Last photo with the Assitant Director.

So long...Farewell....Alwiederzien...Goodbye.

We scurried around all day on Thursday like a bunch of busy mice. It was our last full day in Petropavlovsk and there were many last minute errands, gifts, and souvenirs. We did some MORE paperwork in the morning and then went back to the market again before going out to the boarding school for our last visit. The day before we took the girls to the market and let them pick out some white embroidered sheer cloth. I only told them that they needed to pick something that they liked and I would keep it for a long time. On the walk back to the hotel, I asked Nadia to explain to Yulia that I would save it for when they decided to get married. My idea is to make all or part of their wedding veil out of it. Hopefully, they will want a veil and if not then maybe we can find a way to incorporate at least a small piece into the dress. Since marriage can be an occasion of uniting families, it struck me that it would be a very special thing to also have some sort of remembrance and token of where they came from and who they are. We don’t know if they will want to remember any of it right now, but at some point it will enrich their lives to cherish the good things and heal and learn from the not so good. I sincerely hope that by the time they do take the marriage step, that they will have done this and take with them the strength of their ancestors and current family with them into their new life.

So as soon as we got back from the market on Thursday, Igor and the RBS Director, picked our whole family up in the school van to go purchase the gift we were giving to the school. It is customary to give gifts to the orphanage you are adopting from as well as the Regional coordinator, translator, caregivers, and social workers. The orphanage gift is by far the biggest and we asked the director what he wanted that was around $300. He said that his office staff could really use a scanner/printer/copy machine. It was very cool to see that as soon as we arrived at the school, that the secretaries had already cleared a place and had it going lickety split. They saw us in the hall and came out saying “spaciba, spaciba!” They were just so happy! We also stopped by the temporary shelter on the way out to the boarding school to take some pictures of the place where the girls were for a couple of months before being transferred out to the orphanages. I am sure glad that Guy had this on his agenda because I just don’t think I would have thought about going there or out to Poulindino where Olia had been before coming to the RBS. But the girls are so happy that we did and I am sure will always be glad to have a record and visual reminders of those places. It really is amazing the kind of system they have here to care for the children. So many loving caregivers, warm beds, good food and education. There are a couple of really remote orphanages that have it tough, but for the most part, the ones located in populated areas are really havens compared to the circumstance the children where in before entering the system.

Saying Goodbye.

Once we finally made it to the RBS, we had a little bit of time with the social worker and the girls to get some more pictures for the court files. Apparently they didn’t like the fact that the other pictures had dates imprinted on them, so I had to turn that function of and go again. Then Guy and I were whisked off to have a customary lunch with the director, assistant director and one of the social workers, Tatiana. Man what a lunch! You just can’t go wrong with freshly prepared food cooked up by their very own Chef Helga. And there was plenty of it to go around. There were also some toasts given and some chattering, through Igor our interpreter. Usually they toast with a shot of some alcoholic something or other, but we stuck to the juice. They all laughed over it of course, but it was all in good fun. It was good to be part of the event and experience the generosity of the staff.

So Sad.

The saddest part was that as soon as we were done, we had to get the boys and go. It was already 5:30 pm and the van had to get us back to the hotel. This was the moment I hadn't been looking forward to all day. The boys got some final play time with the girls but Guy and I didn’t even get more than 15 minutes with them. But, we had to go and say goodbye. Of course, Guy was held together with the idea that we will come back and bring them home for good. This did not work for me, I was still a wreck anyway. Little Olia and I shed our tears and even Yulia, trying to be tough, could not keep them all back. The sweetest part was to experience them tenderly wiping the tears off my face and giving me hugs of comfort. We didn’t drag it on too long. We left them our love and went on to the hotel.

Last supper.

That night we had a fun evening at a German restaurant with Igor, Nadia and our other adopting American friends, Paul and Erin. It was good fun only to be followed up with a bunch of packing before going to bed that night at the hotel. It is time to fly home!

deb

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Court Score: Women 3 Men 0

Boys with Kazak tie tacks to impress the judge.

From the very moment we set foot into the courthouse all eyes were on us. This is something we’ve grown accustomed to as we’ve spent the last three weeks as the center of attention everywhere we’ve gone. So much so, that the boys think it’s more like “show time” and they use it as a chance to perform their antics and exercise their outside voices. It’s become kind of a game to them. But today was different, very different.

Court is no place for children, and their games, but the boys insisted that they come along even if that meant sitting outside in the hallway. So there we were, all dressed up, sitting in the foyer while everyone else looked on. All at once, our regional coordinator burst through the doors, chatted with the guards on duty and motioned for us to follow. As we climbed stairs I could hear someone calling “muchina”, “Muchina”, “MUCHINA!” to be interpreted as Sir. I knew exactly what he was saying and exactly who he was speaking to; but feeling safe with Sholpan, (“touring the facility and taking up slack,”) I continued on, paying him no mind. Not to be ignored any longer the male guard made his presence known. In a quick exchange of Russian betwixt he and Sholpan, he was dispensed without further argument. I’ve watched Sholpan work over the past few weeks and this lady gets things done. She been very nice, helpful but deep down she’s all business, wielding her “machete to cut through red tape.” With the first hurdle of the day behind us, I had high hopes that the rest of the day would be dealt with as swiftly. Chalk that up as victory #1 for the women.

They call it court and surely it is. Complete with Judge and a Prosecutor, but it’s not as grandiose as we Americans are used to. It would be just as accurate to call it “ very large office." The Judge was a woman in her fifties, I guessed, draped in a long purplish robe. She had short black hair, with the “Cruella De Ville” blond patch on the left side of her head. She was very confident and in charge, but welcoming, although refusing entrance of the children. We entered her lair, the official Seal of Kazakhstan mounted proudly high on the wall behind her, and she proceeded to explain our rights. Through the interpreter I again expressed our desire to adopt the lovely children we had spent the past three weeks getting to know. I explained that the adoption was not new to us, as we had already adopted our middle son, and that we prepared to provide an atmosphere of opportunity for all of our children and so forth.

It is a common belief that court is a formality. If this is the case then someone forgot to give our Judge the memo. I was glad I felt strongly about our chances, as she got right down to business and had me wondering for a time. She was there, afterall, to represent the Republic of Kazakhstan, the children, and to her credit she had done her due diligence. Quickly she spotted an error in the paperwork and after chastising Sholpan, got right to work quizzing me on why I thought having more children was the way to happiness. “Do they pay money for kids in America?” she asked. “What makes you think you know how to raise girls?” “What happens when the girl’s background rears its ugly head?” “What about the parents who adopt children and kill them, 14 cases on record to date?” One after another the questions came and looking back I don’t think I did a very good job of answering. Finally, she’d had enough fun and told me to be seated. Make that victory #2 for women.

By order of the court Debbie rose to her feet, stated her name and purpose as the questions began. “Is your marriage stable?” “ Are you sure you have enough money to provide for the girls? “What about time? Girls take time and they need their mother, you know.” “Don’t you think three children are enough children?” It was non stop, like rapid fire from a machine gun. I was really proud of Debbie, she defended herself and mothers everywhere very well. By the time she as done, everyone in the roomed was touched, and people were wiping the tears from their eyes. Victory #3 for women. Benefactor, mankind.


The movers and shakers.



After our interrogation, the two social workers involved, both women, were both asked to state their opinion. Many kind words were said on our behalf, everyone amazed at how well bonding period has gone for both families from what they had seen and been told by the girls. At some point during the proceeding I’d glanced out the window across the road at the adjacent building and realized I was staring at the Dept of Education building. This would be the very same building where we’d stood 3 weeks ago explain to another woman of authority that we indeed had room in our hearts for two girls. For most of the trip I’ve been very in control of my emotions but right there in that courtroom I was on the verge of a serious meltdown. As I looked around, I realized that the room was full of seven successful women, myself and the translator excluded. I felt lucky to be there, beside my wife, sharing our personal feelings about the importance of family while they listened on.


All in the family.


After a short recess the entire family, boys included, were invited back into her office where the judge read her decision. Affirmative. She wished us luck and asked if we had any further questions. Now you know me, always one for a risk. “Just one,” I said, “Would you mind if we take a family photo with your highness?” She had a sense of humor after all.


guy

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Best of the Boys

Yulia's monkey meets the boys stuffed animals.



Just in case there was any doubt in anyone's mind, these guys are the unsung heroes of the entire proceedings. With us through thick and thin, they have remained a source of joy, and occassional pain, for the past few weeks. A true reminder that the grass is not always greener, just quieter in someone else's family. To the locals, we are walking three ring circus. But truly, we needn't look far to find that we have been blessed with great kids, great brothers, to both me and their sisters. I feel honored to be called their father. I've never been much to brag about my children but for the record this unique experience we've shared together has been something I think everyone will remember. And with any luck, never forget. guy


Kazak coneheads.


And in the center ring, the wonderboy, Jansen.


Posing "Don Juan" style for the locals.



Two peas in a leather pod.


Hide and Seek.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Best of Olia

First photo.



Friend.




Focused.


Pouty.




Snuggly.



Hungry.



Little sister.



Little girl.


Doll.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

The Best of Yulia


First photo.



I'm running out of things to say so I'll let the pictures do the talking instead. These are my favorite photos of our "Princessa" Yulia. guy





Big sister.




Ice cream.




Dirty hands and face.


Bubbles.


Yulia and her Lemur.


New Outfit.

Old Churches and a widow's mite--Sunday Sept 23rd




Guy and the Girls overlooking the river



We got lucky with another family outing today. This time we took in the sights around Petropavlovsk. The town is small enough that it only took about an hour to see everything that our translator could think of. We drove to the Birch Forest and yes, there are a lot of Birch. I could tell that the driver of the van was wondering what the big deal was about seeing the birch forest, but hey it must be somewhat important since we bought a couple of things carved out of birch from a local store. It was pretty, too. Then we drove to the river which is on the north part of town. We stood at the top of a small (200 feet) bluff and looked down on it. That is the only hill that we have seen since being here. Even Astana was very flat. Then we drove past the University. That was pretty cool and Igor said that it is one of the top 3 Universities in Kazakhstan. I don’t know how many of the graduates stay local or what they all go in to, but I was glad to see the post high school opportunity for the locals.


The birch forest and some local wildlife

Since the country is half Muslim and half Russian Orthodox, there are some great churches. We saw a 200 year old Russian Orthodox church currently under renovation, a new one (down the road from the Regional Boarding School) and a mosque that is not far from our hotel. When we have gone out and about, we have actually heard a couple of Muslim prayer chants permeating local neighborhood by way of a loudspeaker (at least I assume that is what it is.) I really like listening and when I hear it, it turns my thoughts heaven ward as it should.


Ye Olde Russian Orthodox church--renovatoions in the background


While we were driving down to the river, Yulia and Olia recognized a building they called a Sanatorium and said that they had been there with their mother. After chatting, Guy and I realized that it was not the same we were thinking of that would be in the U.S. Apparently, a Sanatorium, is a cheap version of a spa. The girls said that they remembered going there and playing in the gym that was there and having a lot of fun while there mom was doing something else in the building. Then Guy asked them if they remembered where they had lived. They did. They gave a name to the place they lived and Igor said that it was a scary part of town where cab drivers charge double to take you there at night (really) and won’t take you at all if you look suspicious. Igor called it the working class area and it is obviously on the “wrong side” of the tracks. The first thing that popped in my mind was, how did Yulia and Olia survive time alone in that kind of situation? It makes me so sad. I wonder how they felt living there. I wonder what they saw. In time, I hope we come to know and I hope the girls can make peace with anything or anyone that was not good to them. Guy and I don’t have any idea if anything awful ever happened or not, as if neglect and a father in prison aren’t bad enough. But, we do know that they are good girls and I really feel that Yulia is especially wise, discerning and drawn to what is good. Olia is still young behaviorally. Her age is 8, but her emotional state is a year, or probably two, behind. Yulia has had to be her mother, so she has gotten a lot of things her way with a little bit of pouting and whining. Even though she does well at the RBS with all the structure, it is obvious that she will have to learn to take accountability for her actions and do things she may not want to do in order to improve her chances at life in general. We aren’t too worried, but it will take some effort, thought and lots of love to help her. And with parenting being what it is, we hope both Yulia and Olia choose to be helped.

After our sightseeing trip, we spent some time playing with the kids at the school. Cade, Jansen, and Denver spent time playing with some of the boys on the jungle gyms. It was so fun to watch how boys play just like normal even when there is a language barrier. King of the Mountain, running, jumping and doing tricks is a world wide form of play. Meanwhile, Guy played goalie for some older kids on the dirt soccer field. At 37, Guy is still a boy, but I guess that is a good thing to have Peter Pan as your husband. I filmed a little of that and the girls just played around with their friends. They just love to have me watch them swing on the bars and play with stuffed animals. If I teach them the phrase “watch me Momma” then that is probably all I will ever hear. The only thing better to them is when I video their tricks and antics. One of the things that really touches me is Yulia’s thoughtfulness. She brings me a little something most days and the first thing she does is give it to me. It might be a little bouncy ball, broken bracelet, used lipstick, mood ring or other little trinket, but she really wants me to have whatever it is. She is just so sweet and I am so moved by her gift of the “widow’s mite.” She really gives me all that she has. A quality that I cherish and I hope will stick with her even as her life instantly changes when she lands in America.



The most popular soccer surface in the world, dirt.


Deb

Friday, September 21, 2007

Waiting for court

Cade's quads have been getting a lot stronger lately.


Our 14 day bonding period ended Wednesday the 19th of September. Our appointment for court has been set for next Wednesday the 26th at 10 AM. This will be the perfect situation as we will need to do some finishing paperwork on Thursday, give gifts, say good bye and then fly out to Astana on Friday. Our flight home will leave Astana at 7AM on Saturday and arrive in Salt Lake that evening at 7:30pm. So that will be a 24:30 hour trip from Astana to Salt Lake when you take into account the 12 time zone changes. Unfortunately we will have to leave the girls for the mandatory 15 day waiting period which is followed by a weeks worth of birth certificate and visa processing. That will take about 3 weeks total and then I can come back and bring them home!

Waiting a week for court is a little difficult, but well worth the wait. I am sure it will be harder to come home without Yulia and Olia. The process already takes a while and then the added return trip adds to the suspense. Some people stay the whole time, but we are not able to do that. We have been lucky to be able to come and bring the boys with us even on this first trip. At least the second trip only requires one parent and only takes 3-4 days. So that will be nice. All I have to do is come and take the girls through their medical appointment near the embassy and then when the results from the blood tests come back the next day, then we go through the embassy to pick up visas and so forth and then go home. If we get extra lucky, Guy will be able to come. I am OK going alone, but he doesn’t want me to do that. I just get worried about things that need to be taken care of at home, the boys, extra airfare and blah blah blah.

Someday this crazy clan will be together in Utah.


This process also has to be done in the city of Almaty in the south part of the country. So it will be a fun experience to see that part of the country. The south region is much more “Kazakh” than Petropavlovsk. With Petropavlovsk being so close to Russia, it is very much Russian influenced in culture. Almaty, on the other hand, is 4 hours by plane to the south and therefore much different. This is the region that the Silk Road, a very popular and ancient trade route, passed through. There are a lot Arabic and Muslim influences in this “silk road” part of the country. So it should be a fun little visit come about the 3rd week in October with the best part being that we get to bring home the girls and call this journey finished!



The Kazakhstan Flag


Yulia and Olia are doing great. I am getting a little overwhelmed with us leaving next week. I have to make sure we get some things for them before we leave. Yulia’s birthday is October 12th and so we will leave a birthday box with Nadia, our translator’s wife. We also have to get them dresses for court and one more outfit for their trip to Almaty to meet up with me. Then there are the gifts for people here in Petro and the Regional boarding school that we need to finish up. It is hard to express to people how you feel with a little gift. And then because of the language barrier, you can’t write a nice note or come up with a catchy little phrase (attached to Utah honey) like “thanks for being one honey of a caregiver!” Or how about this (attached to a salt shaker filled with Great Salt Lake salt,) “we will always savor your friendship!” OK, OK, I wouldn’t think of it! But, you get the drift. I will, however, have Igor or Nadia help me write out a couple of the more important notes I want to leave. The most important things I hope a few of the people involved understand is just how grateful were are for their pure intent, hard work on behalf of children and the pure love of Christ they posses. This would not even be remotely possible without these amazing people. God has to have people to work through to take care of all his children, young and old! And we are grateful to be among those that have been helped in many ways at the present moment.

Deb

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

You Good People--Official Bonding Ends.


The Perry Calender.


The days are beginning to run together and according to my daily vitamin regime it’s 2 down and 1 to go, weeks that is. I mean seriously, using planetary alignment for determining the actual date is so old fashioned! The last two bonding days have been wonderful. One spent here at the hotel (day 13) and yesterday (day 14) back at the Regional boarding school. All in all, we’ve spent a lot of time playing together as a family and walking from place to place, intermixed with snacks on yogurt and ice cream, banana’s and bubble gum. Every Yin deserves a Yang.



Bubbles on the roof.


Yogurt is yummy and that jacket and those pig tails are too cute.

We borrowed an electronic translator for our excursion and slowly have begun to learn how to work the dang thang. Cade and Yulia have been having conversations betwixt themselves which has been very enjoyable to watch. Cade’s initial communication explained what the translator could actually do and how it worked. I watched as she read the Russian version of Cade’s text and when she finished you could she her eyes widen and the light go on. She typed frantically in Russian a very long sentence then pressed the translation button. That moment in time seemed to linger for sometime until Cade finally announced the decoded message. “You good people.” Cade seemed to be a little puzzled by the fact that all those Russian words somehow where magically reduced into a phrase in our language consisting of only three words. But what power those three words had on me. At that moment, my heart was deeply touched, and as her soon-to-be father, I appreciated her vote of confidence. I wanted to be good people. It is a desire of my heart, but as she will come to realize, I’m still a work in progress. Love can indeed be blind. But not to lose the moment, I grabbed the translator and typed “You are a beautiful princess,” to which she looked at me, smiled and blushed. Priceless.
Conversation via the translator.

Our visit yesterday at the RBS was unlike any another. The girls were not expecting us and because we showed up early, were not perched in the waiting position by the gate. That left us to find them. We ventured upstairs to Olia’s family and within a few short moments she was found. She was so excited. I left Debbie to gather Olia and I had Nina, a beautiful 13 year old girl who will be going home to a new family in Alabama next week, lead to me to her friend, Yulia. We caught her completely off guard and she ran towards me, jumped into my arms and gave me the biggest hug yet. Quickly she gathered her stuff, we rejoined Deb and Olia, and headed for the Foyer.

Nina, Yulia's friend. My tour guide.





Our translator met us there with the Head Lady in charge of all the children. She escorted us down a long, dark corridor to a very small room with a couch and table. We posed for a few pictures with the lady from the orphanage (this is required to show the court) while the girls cut out the paper dolls. She asked the girls’ questions about the past two weeks and about going to America, having brothers etc. It was so interesting that I forgot I should have been video taping it for posterity. Eventually, she signed off our newly updated log book and excused herself. For the next 2 hours we sat there as the girls (and Deb) cut, cut and cut more outfits for their dolls. We were lucky enough to have Nina in our company, we chatted about her family. She showed us the pictures from the visits with her new parents and summer camp, a lot of which contained pictures of our girls. I drew a map of the United States showing Utah and Alabama, how close they were, and that she could easily have her parents drive her up for an afternoon visit. She laughed. It was nice to laugh because the process of time our conversations turned more serious as we asked the girls if they had more questions about America.





Visit with RBS personnel.


“Do they really have bears? Do the bears eat people?”

I shared the story about my father who, very recently, had almost hit bear with his big truck. But he lived was far, far away and no bears liked our neighborhood. I failed to tell them about the cougar spotted just before we left in a neighbor’s backyard. But, I did tell them about the cougar food, the cute little deer that make a mess of our attempts at landscaping.

“Do the deer eat people?” Olia asked.

“No, just the expensive trees and shrubs we plant in the yard,” I joked.

Speaking of joking, Yulia quiered. “Do they really cut kids up, can them, and sell them on the shelves?”

Just that morning we had chatted with some other Americans about some of the things the kids are told about what is REALLY going to happen to them when they get to the states. At the top of the list is selling their body parts for money. For reasons I have yet to fully understand, there are some serious misconceptions floating around the minds of these children.

For the first time I realized the “risk” the girls are taking by coming home with us. Due to their age, they are not allowed to make the decision for themselves. Certainly we have asked them to share their feelings, as nobody wants to bring anyone home that doesn't want to be there, but legally they don’t have any rights. They rely on the adults, including us, and everyone at the RBS to decide if this is a good situation for them. “You good people,” flashed through my mind. Only this time it meant , ALL THE GOOD PEOPLE who have been involved in this process with us. More than ever before, I'm was glad there is a God in Heaven who had granted one of his daughters the power of discernment so that she may know that her, and her baby sister, will be safe and loved in their new home.

guy